The 1500 Cookie Diet

Everyone I have come upon a revolutionary diet plan. Most diets ask you to forgo delicious foods and eat bland healthy foods. On top of that they recommend painful exercise. I exercise five days a week and can testify to the discomfort.

Instead of all that, let's focus on a different piece of the puzzle. Body mass, whether it is fat or muscle or other yucky types of substances burns calories. Every pound of body that you have burns calories for you every day. They burn varied amounts depending upon what type. For instance, muscle burns 6 calories per day and fat burns 2 calories per day.

Since experts seem to think that burning off calories is the key to weight loss, this tells us that adding mass could be helpful. For instance if you wanted to burn 60 calories a day or 21,900 calories per year, you would lose over six pounds just by having a little more mass.

If that idea sounds good to you, then let me tell you how to do it. You need 30 lbs of mass to burn that many additional calories. You could carry around a 30 lbs. back pack everywhere, but that would be uncomfortable and you would look like a goon. They key to get that 30 lbs. is to eat delicious foods. My favorite is cookies. Since you need 105,000 calories to accomplish our purpose and a 1/2 oz. cookie has about 70 calories, you just need to eat 1500 cookies.

After that all you have to do is sit back, enjoy the sugar rush, and watch as those six pounds melt away over the course of a year. You might even want to go to a gym or diet center and triumphantly devour your cookies while watching eveyone else suffer. Be smug. You now know the secret method. Your next challenge is deciding between peanut butter, chocolate chip, oatmeal, shortbread and so many other choices. Nowadays you even have to decide if your chocolate chip will be milk, white, dark, single origin, or bittersweet chocolate.

Enjoy the holidays.

Interesting trip to Eastern Europe

Having been a Soviet & Eastern European Studies major in college (I wanted to be James Bond) I have always wanted to see Eastern Europe. I just got back from Slovakia and the Czech Republic (and Germany) and wow what a great trip.

First, don't kill the messenger for the picture of the two marzipan pigs frolicking. It is amazing the edible things that people make.

Those same skills are turned to into a beautiful watermelon flower in the next picture from the Anuga Food Show in Germany.

Look at the middle right photo. Not only didn't I know that Fidel Castro played the Tuba, but was surprised to see him in a several hundred year old beer hall in Prague.

Look at the photos again. Cannabis Vodka? I just don't know what to say.

Do you like the pasta in the bowl above? Maybe not, these are fairly bland for marinated baby eels.

We also saw quite a few castles, churches, museums, etc. This is the standard tourist fare along with eating quite a bit of pork, cabbage, and potatoes. All of this is then washed down wish beer and good company.

Take A Ride on My Flying Saucer

You could hear about the innovative new pasta sauces that we are developing or the really tasty and different salsas and table sauces that we are developing, but this is even more exciting. I went for a tour of a flying saucer factory yesterday. You may not have realized that there were flying saucer factories, but there is one. It is in Davis, CA at http://www.moller.com/. Dr. Moller has been making UFO's for 40 years. He now has two main vehicles. One is an aircraft that can fly either vertically or horizontally called the skycar 400. That one will go for around $1 million when it hits the market in a few years. It is interesting because it will get almost 20 mpg and travel over 200 mph, but you can land it in your backyard. This one looks like a space age aircraft with rotating engines.

The one that you can buy right now and for which dozens of people have already put deposits is the 200G. This model will be avaible by the end of next year and will cost about $90k or so. It really could probably fly 50 to 100 feet off the ground and travel at 100 mph, but they are putting software in it so you can only fly 9 feet off the ground (otherwise they would be slogging through years of FAA paperwork). It is kind of a gas guzzler, but has a cool flying saucer look and is safe due to redundant systems and engines.

Game On - The Great Social Networking Contest

Which website is better or more effective Facebook or Myspace? In order to introduce The People's Food Movement (www.peoplesfoodmovement.org) I am having a contest at Dave's Gourmet. Two of our star hip young people are competing: Laura and Greg. Over the next few days Laura is building a page for us on Myspace and Greg is building one on Facebook. Their goal is to see which page will get more people to sign up for the People's Food Movement by October 31st.

Myspace has more traffic, but Facebook may have a better demographic fit. Greg has a large base of readers on his online comic www.realifecomics.com. Laura has many online friends due to her fabulosity. Who will win? Stay tuned.

The People's Food Movement is a group that allows people to market their own fantastic food items through the movement. This gives people more control over what food is available in stores and lets big food conglomerates dictate to the masses less.

A New Kitchen

Has anyone else heard all those home equity line and home loan radio commercials? They say that renovating your home's bathrooms or kitchen is the best investment that you can make. I say bollocks to that. As a former mortgage person and the recipient of a new kitchen I can tell you that this is not true.

If you research on the web, you will see the return on kitchens and bathrooms varies by geography, price range, etc., but it is almost never even 100%. This means that you generally don't even get all of your money back. Despite those statistics, I know of instances where a strategically done cosmetic fix can give you a positive return. Also, there are instances where a kitchen is so bad and such a price drag that a renovation can have a positive return.

With this in mind let's forget the statistics and say that you could get a 5% positive return. This does not factor in the enormous amount of time and aggravation that are involved. If you value your time, the return goes negative again.

You are much better taking your 6 to 12% return in the stock market or higher return on a rental property. If you want a renovated kitchen because you will enjoy it, then do it. Don't do it because it is a great investment. It is not. If you do decide to renovate, don't forget all the great new energy efficient appliances.

Where is the Sport in That

I took my son fishing the other day. It sounded good to catch fish and then cook them up over a grill with fresh herbs and such. Since he's only four, I was feeling lazy, and people were counting on numerous fish for dinner, we went to a farm with a stocked trout pond. This is one of those places where a pond 15 feet across had 5 feet across of fish. It is so easy to catch fish that my four year old almost caught one with his bare hand.

I had trouble deciding if it was easier fishing there or in one of those tanks in the supermarket. The only experience like it is when I let a not so good fishing guide take us out in a boat in the Monterrey Bay and we caught over 80 fish in 4 hours. Turns out that our guide anchored us in the marine sanctuary outside the Monterrey Bay Acquarium. In a turn of divine justice he got arrested.

I don't know why it makes a difference, but it feels better when the fish has a chance to get away. It probably tastes the same either way.

Engineering the Boneless Trout

I am just back from vacation and apologize for the lack of posts, but I had a great time.

It is amazing to see the march of designer food. The food scientists, farmers and breeders can make food that is less expensive, more pest resistant, higher yielding, sweeter, a custom color, etc. I don't know what this does to those of us that eat, if anything, and choose not to think about that. With the advancements in genetics the ability to design custom products is about to get much scarier.

In the spirit of embracing all of this I have a wishlist of innovations that I would like to see and am sure that are possible (or will be soon).

-Trout have far too many small bones and many cooks don't get them out. When you eat trout it is like waiting for that little jab. Why not just have a boneless trout or a trout that has bones that sort of melt when cooked. Animals could be the Gary Larson variety but may need a little propping up.

-I have had far too many meals of dry or tasteless meat. They should just design pre-marinated animals. You could have different flavor animals and let them cross breed for new flavors. What happens when a Asian Garlic Lamb breeds with a Rosemary Lemon Lamb? You could even have dairy animals that naturally produce dark chocolate or chai milk.

-The whole new science of neutraceuticals is great, but we are about to graduate to a new level. Barry Bonds new home run record is doomed to fall once players start eating foods that double your muscle mass in months with no side effects (at least until much later). I used to love Super Chicken (cartoon) as a kid so let's assume that this is from a chicken.

-You could have Asparagus that have Viagra like qualities. Not only kids should eat their veggies. How about the new Smiley Fruit? It is like a triple dose of anti-depressant with the added benefit of keeping you regular.

-My favorite would be memory peppers. I love chiles and have a poor memory. What is more memorable than a really hot chile? It's good for you too.

If you have some items you would like to see, let me know and maybe we can get the science community to help us out.